Journey to a Happy Ending

I'm going to vent all of my frustrations here so if you don't want to read a lot of negativity I suggest you don't read this...But it does get better at the end: These last couple of weeks have been very difficult for us. With Andrew getting his hours cut at work, not being able to pay our bills on time, barely having enough left over after paying tithing to get food for the week or fuel for the car. Life right now is far from GREAT! And to top it all off I've got the WINTER BLUES!! So I'm a wee bit depressed! Doing easy tasks like cleaning the house and making dinner are far from easy. No motivation to get out for a walk or even exercise for that matter (because I know getting out for some fresh air will help)....I hate looking in the mirror and seeing what a slob I have become and how much weight I have left to lose but have no motivation to take care of my needs...I hate my husbands schedule, and hate that I have to say goodbye to him at 6:30 every night and wake up at 7 am to him just walking in the door. So I have to take care of a sick 8 month old for the night, fight with her every single night to bathe, lotion and dress her!! When I think I've finally got her down for the night she's right back up screaming 2 hours later!! (After last nights fiasco) Sometimes I feel inadequate as a mother, and I sometimes wonder why the LORD trusted me with children...Before I got married I hated kids!! I have absolutely NO PATIENCE when it comes to kids.....So why did I have them?

BUT THEN..... Last week our prayers were answered and we were blessed with Andrew's mom giving us a whole bunch of food and a gift card for Superstore for whatever else we might need for the month. Andrew's biological father got us meat for Christmas but didn't get it until last week, 2 huge grocery bags full of any meat you could possibly think of. I can't help but to push aside all of my negative thinking and be ever so greatful for all of our many blessings in the many forms they come in. It might not have been winning the lottery but it is definately helping us where we needed it most. Andrew also got a bonus from his work that he was unaware that they were even getting. So for now we're no longer struggling with food and the money keeps coming from practically nowhere. I have a very strong testimony of the power of paying your tithing, even when we don't have money for food or gas we STILL pay it and blessings come!! This has been a huge lesson for us, that if we are doing everything the lord asks us to do he will take care of us!

And then I recognized where all of these awful feelings and thoughts were coming from and it was definately not from our Heavenly Father. It was a reality check for me because I have more power over my mind than the adversary. It will be a long hard struggle, but when you're living right Satan tries his hardest to rip that to shreds! So I decided to be a little selfish and take care of myself so that I could be a happy person again. If I'm not happy and take care of my needs how am I supposed to take care of Cadence's or my husbands needs!!

The Plan:

For my Physical Health

1. I am taking Vitamin D3 (because I'm not getting enough sunlight) along with my Iron pills (for anemia) every morning

2. Andrew and I are planning to sign up for the Moonlight Run in Lethbridge. A 6K run/walk that is happening March 19.

3. I am going to try and make it my moms house to use their treadmill to train for this 6K

4. Focus on getting rid of my nausea and sluggishness by eating healthy

For my Spiritual Health

1. I am going to continue praying and reading my scriptures before bed even if Andrew isn't there with me

2. I am going to read an article a day from the Ensign

3. Get active in church and get better with my visiting teaching (I suck and I'm the worst partner ever)

4. Count my many blessings everyday

5. Be greatful for the life that I have and not wish for better

6. Stare into the eyes of my innocent daughter because I know that she just came from our Heavenly Father. I can't help but to love her because who couldn't just fall in love with a face like this. :)

I am very greatful for the church in my life. I am greatful for the Holy Ghost and being worthy enough to receive guidance from the STill Small Voice. I am also very greatful for the PRIESTHOOD and having a worthy Priesthood holder in our home. I love my family oh so much and am greatful I'm with them for TIME and ALL ETERNITY.

This journey will be tough, nobody said it's going to be easy. But my outlook on life and continually looking for the positive in my life will get me where I need to be to be a happier, healthier person. Follow me on my journey to find happiness and to become healthy too. :)